Stop. Doing. That. Just STOP IT.
I never thought I’d say those words out loud in a professional setting. I’ve done enough leadership courses and management programs to know the right style and tone to use. But honestly? I had reached my limit.
A couple of weeks ago, I met one of my favourite clients for coffee. She was excited about an upcoming event she was planning for her students and clients at her growing dance school business. For weeks, she had been negotiating with venues, organising group accommodations, coordinating catering, and planning fun activities—all while trying to keep costs affordable so as many people as possible could participate.
She was eager to share the news with her community. But instead of excitement, she was met with lukewarm enthusiasm and frustrating resistance:
The date isn’t convenient… The activities don’t sound that interesting… Can I pay less if I only attend part of it?
She was disappointed. Frustrated. Disheartened, really. After all the effort she had put in, she felt like no one appreciated it.
“How much are you charging?” I asked casually.
“Well, I worked out the minimum number of people needed to keep costs as low as possible. That’s why it’s so frustrating when people want to pay half because they can’t take time off work. I just need to lock it in so I don’t end up out of pocket.”
“Have you factored in the cost of your time and effort?”
She stared at me, silent.
I tried another approach.
“Is this an event you’re excited about attending yourself?”
She hesitated, then blurted out:
“Oh no! I wish we could afford more tutors, massages, and other relaxing activities. The accommodation is okay, but I wish we could stay somewhere better, with more facilities, so we could have a truly memorable weekend. I want us to have fun, to create something special that builds the culture of our studio.”
My final question: Do your students and clients know that?
Another silence. Another realization.
My client has a huge heart and an incredible passion for her business. Her students and clients are lucky to have someone who cares so deeply about their growth and development.
But she needs to stop doing this. We all need to stop doing this.
What if we did things differently?
What if she designed the event she would love to attend? What if she factored in her own time and expertise and then shared that excitement with her community?
Together, we explored new possibilities:
- What if she let her students and clients choose? A budget-friendly weekend or a premium experience?
- Would they be willing to fundraise for extras?
- Could they plan further in advance to save up?
- Did the date need adjusting so more people could commit?
In the spirit of The Matters Experiment, what if we served ourselves first?
No one—our students, clients, colleagues, or bosses—expects us to run ourselves ragged. No one expects us to personally fund events to ensure everyone has a good time. No one is asking us to be martyrs to a broader cause at the expense of our physical, mental, emotional, and financial well-being.
Instead of doing everything for others—at our own expense—what if we did it with them?
What if we created what lights us up and then invited others to share in that joy? And while we’re at it, what if we set some real boundaries around the value of our time and expertise?
Starting a business or working on a passion project doesn’t always yield immediate financial rewards. But that doesn’t mean we have to give 100% gold-standard effort, be available 24/7, and sacrifice our well-being.
That path leads straight to burnout, resentment, and – ultimately – an exhausted, frustrated, and depleted version of ourselves.
So let’s stop. Right now. And start doing things in a way that honours us—our time, our passion, and our well-being.
P.S. You don’t have to run yourself ragged to create something meaningful. The Matters Experiment is about rethinking success in a way that works for you—without burnout or resentment. Sign up for the opportunity to connect below and let’s explore this together.
