Most of us don’t burn out overnight.
It happens gradually. The calendar fills… A few extra commitments slide in… We say yes without thinking too much about it, and before long we start telling ourselves that the mantra “I don’t have time” is simply what real life feels like.
This piece explores what actually happens in that moment — and whether the spiral is as inevitable as it seems.
Ohh, I’m going to come out and say this very clearly — working on your own Matters Experiment can be H-A-R-D.
I had a great ‘off the grid’ break from most of my normal life commitments through January. I started the year with solid exercise habits, a regular practice of some quiet time first thing each morning, and intentional hours writing in my lovely loft.
And now February is here… and we are nearly half way through the month already!
Things are starting to fill my calendar again and I’ve been deep in the work of trying to keep what is important to me front and centre on my to-do list…
My daughter Isla and I stepped into our seventh year of homeschooling two weeks ago (seven years… THAT is another whole story), and all of her extra-curricular activities are back. My husband Adam’s work calendar is filling with business trips over the next few months.
I’ve watched my days begin to evaporate again — including all of those unlistable activities — mum-taxi, forms, apps, account logins, password resets for every online platform that comes with schooling, dance studios and sporting clubs.
Less time with those I love… Bedtimes sneaking later… My resistance to getting up early for exercise or quiet time is growing stronger. And the inner voice whispering, “Oh, but you made such a good start to the year…” leaving me tired and irritable.
I’m also supporting my parents through a house move, and I’m involved in a number of groups and committees where I lend support and perspective — everything from a parent’s responsibility when they put their hand up to run a homeschooling event, through to a judge’s perspective on the first step of the Scottish Highland Fling!
A large part of my day is once again about keeping our collective family ball rolling — all on top of my work here at The Matters Experiment, and the book I’ve started to write.
“It Doesn’t Work in Real Life”
Last year, when I launched the first round of Live Like You Matter (Just for a Week!), one participant said something I haven’t forgotten:
“Lisa, it was a lovely few days… but it doesn’t work in real life, does it? Who has got time for that, really? I don’t have time for that.”
That comment has been rattling around in my head ever since.
Because this — this season of logistics and responsibility and things crowding in — is real life.
And I don’t want to be here promoting a fair-weather idea. I’m not interested in something that only works when we are on holidays or when everything else is calm and under control — because when is that, exactly?
The Matters Experiment has to work in the middle of it all.
These last few weeks I’m being reminded how easy it is to say Yes. Yes! Oh, yes to that too!
And it doesn’t take long before we are short-tempered with the people we love, stressed, hurrying from one thing to the next, and quietly resentful when others don’t seem to be struggling to hold it all together like we are.
I had a January where I really felt like myself.
And now I don’t want to quietly slip back into being the woman who holds everything together on the outside but slowly forgets that she matters in it all, too.
Catching the Automatic Yes
So this week, I’ve come back to a slightly uncomfortable Matters Experiment question for myself:
If I’m feeling stretched again, do I really think that’s because this doesn’t work in ‘real’ life?
It may be because I’ve slipped back into saying yes the way I used to — before I stopped to notice what I actually need, and what really works for those I love.
Instead of debating whether this works in real life, I decided to test it in the middle of real life.
Each day this week, to answer this question, I’ve been catching myself in the moment before I agree to something.
Before I automatically step in.
Before I absorb one more responsibility because it’s easier than explaining why I don’t want to.
Instead of letting the year build to the point where it all gets too much and I want to blow everything up, I’ve just been adjusting one small thing at a time.
Lowering an expectation that I realise is too high.
Delaying something that I can see really isn’t that urgent or important.
Letting one “yes” become a “not this time.”
Nothing huge or dramatic… but it feels a little radical!
Like I’m finding my way back to the year I actually want to be having… and that feels like right direction.
If this resonated, each week I share one small, practical experiment you can try in your own life — around things like time, boundaries, identity, or decisions.
It arrives as a free weekly email.
You’re very welcome to sign up if you’d like! You can do that below.
